so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
