I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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