i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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