best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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