Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation