What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.