Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea