His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol