There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.