There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.