There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
