Define "chronic" masturbator.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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