i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
