shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Houston, we have a squirter
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
