fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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