Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The Olympian is in my bed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
FUCK WHALES
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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