Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize