Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
