I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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