i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
