so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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