what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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