This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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