you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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