just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
