Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
