After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
