Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
