Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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