Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
