tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
