So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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