is your mom at the bar?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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