My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
