I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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