i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
