Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
