question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
