Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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