Say something about gay babies.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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