im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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