You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
