I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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