shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
bring money and cleavage
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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