I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
