Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
wow bdsm is so cute
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
