didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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