if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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