and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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