Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
