Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
