he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
