ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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