shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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