The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
