I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
