I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
