Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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