I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
