Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
