I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
