Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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