Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
