do herpes really smell.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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