omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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