you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
