Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
