too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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