Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
