I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
