Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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