that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
