I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
