Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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