how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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