Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize